AMBIGUOUS LOSS TYPES OF GRIEF
When our loss is ambiguous, it prevents the resolution of grief, a usual human experience after a loss. There are many different kinds of grief and naming them (rather than pathologising) can help you understand, normalise and validate your experience. You may identify with the types of grief common to ambiguous loss below::
Anticipatory grief
This may be experienced when a loss (or death) may be imminent. A term coined by Eric Lindemann the 1940’s, this type of grief is likely for loved ones of those with a diagnosis of an incurable disease when deterioration is expected, knowing a marriage is coming to an end, or preparing for emigration etc. Grief can begin long before.
Frozen grief
Grief can become frozen or delayed when a loss isn’t accepted or overcome. This is often the case when the facts are unclear surrounding the loss but we keep trying to move forward with our life. Our brain ‘freezes’ the suffering as a way to cope but in the long run this type of grief will cause other problems from the strain of emotional containment.
Disenfranchised grief
Dr Kenneth Doka coined this term in 1989. He defines this concept as ‘grief that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly supported’. It may be minimalised or invalidated by others which can lead to hiding our emotions and expression of grief which prevents us from mourning a loss. When there has not been a death and there is no understanding of ambiguous loss, it may feel difficult to grieve the loss long term.
Talking through your grief with a qualified Counsellor can help you understand and express it in a healthy and safe environment.
Anticipatory grief
This may be experienced when a loss (or death) may be imminent. A term coined by Eric Lindemann the 1940’s, this type of grief is likely for loved ones of those with a diagnosis of an incurable disease when deterioration is expected, knowing a marriage is coming to an end, or preparing for emigration etc. Grief can begin long before.
Frozen grief
Grief can become frozen or delayed when a loss isn’t accepted or overcome. This is often the case when the facts are unclear surrounding the loss but we keep trying to move forward with our life. Our brain ‘freezes’ the suffering as a way to cope but in the long run this type of grief will cause other problems from the strain of emotional containment.
Disenfranchised grief
Dr Kenneth Doka coined this term in 1989. He defines this concept as ‘grief that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly supported’. It may be minimalised or invalidated by others which can lead to hiding our emotions and expression of grief which prevents us from mourning a loss. When there has not been a death and there is no understanding of ambiguous loss, it may feel difficult to grieve the loss long term.
Talking through your grief with a qualified Counsellor can help you understand and express it in a healthy and safe environment.
“Ambiguous loss can freeze the grief process. People can't get over it, they can't move forward, they're frozen in place.”
~ Pauline Boss
~ Pauline Boss
